Look, people, it's Christmas Eve. My boyfriend is home, there's movies and a fire going, I got nothing better to do than torture all you other people who are sucked into the interwebz this holiday season.
But for the record: Brazilian waxes are teh BOMB. I encourage every female between the ages of 18-45 to get one pronto.
This broadcast has been given by your local health and beauty aids.
In other news:
Jaden Smith beat out his father for punk ass wtfery, by being the WHINEST KID ON THE FUCKING PLANET in The Day the Earth Stood Still. No, it wasn't as good as the original, but Jaden's performance was at least less suicidal douche and more whining idiot than Will Smith in Seven Pounds which I am CONVINCED is a right wing militant Christian conspiracy theory mixed in with a little of the leftover Jim Jones' Kool-Aid.
Also: Jennifer Connelly makes Keira Knightley look plump. How, I ask, is that possible? You keep this up honey, and the Labryinth? It ain't gonna let you in. Jareth, move on. Sarah is no longer Sarah.
Also, the weird tiny bug eating people thing? Weird. So very fucking weird. Also very creepy. The whole time I was watching it I had this crawly sensation like an entire horde of ticks had seen me and were howling to each other about the rump roast at two o'clock. It was irritating, to say the least.
There is, of course, a Messiah complex/conspiracy, and I'm pretty sure that the Earth no longer has electricity after the Big Glowing Ball ascends, but hey. THE GREENPEACE PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO GET A MESSAGE OUT: SAVE THE EARTH, OR WE ALL SUFFER WITH NO HBO!
Really, it was stupid, and I'm pretty sure that somewhere, Al Gore was beating off to it. You know, while he was congratulating himself on inventing the interwebz.
Okay, look, National Treasure is on and I don't know why I'm bothering to review a movie I thought was a piece of crap anyway, okay? Look, I don't know.